🟢🚜 “Turnstile Cowboy: CAPTCHA Country”
🎤 by Jade Ann Byrne | 🌌 Eat My Cake Records | 🎸 Space Country Trap Anthem
📀 Lyrics:
Verse 1:
They put a John Deere in my CAPTCHA, ain't that kinda wild?
Green and yellow tractor tryin' to fit through the Turnstile
Cloudflare spinnin' on my screen, it’s a digital rodeo
Clickin' on them squares like I’m wranglin' in a UFO
Chorus:
It's too wide for the gate, but it knows what I like,
Those fields of the internet, rollin' through the satellites.
Google's got my taste down, knowin' how to test my vibe,
Tractors in the CAPTCHA, space country on the drive.
Verse 2:
It’s a moonlit interstellar farm, satellites align,
Triple Starbeam in the sky, them Starlinks are mine,
They know I’m feelin' earthly, but I’m reachin' outta time,
Binaries buzzin', hayfields up in binary code,
Clouds ain't just above us, big dabs keep 'em in overload.
Chorus:
It's too wide for the gate, but it knows what I like,
Clicking squares like cowboy boots stampin' down at midnight,
John Deere's got that Smart System, algorithms ridin' free,
Space-country CAPTCHA, feels like it’s just testin' me.
Verse 3:
My fingers scrollin' to the beat, like pickin' on guitar strings,
Ridin' through the data streams, like outlaw songs in metal rings,
Cloudflare's doin' the shuffle, it’s a Turnstile full of bits,
They hit me with the tractor, must know I'm country at my wits.
Got a data farm full of John Deeres, plowin' through the clicks,
Cultivatin' the bandwidth, while the signal light blinks.
Chorus:
It’s too wide for the gate, but it’s tappin' to my style,
Cyber ranchin', late at night, with algorithms versatile.
I’m pluckin' out them tractors, uploadin' beats on Mars,
Captcha-lassoed my John Deere, now we’re dancin' with the stars.
Verse 4:
In the middle of the Turnstile, I saw the countryside swing,
Rows of code like crops laid out, and the satellites sing.
Farmin' data like hay bales, stackin' them bits up high,
Patchin' up my firewalls like fences in July.
Buzzin' on the pharmaceuticals, Staterra keeps me in line,
Clouds rollin' from the THC, I'm floatin' past the borderline.
They think they can keep me stuck in squares that shine so bright,
But I’m drivin' that Deere through the firewalls, dancin' into night.
Chorus (Final):
It’s too wide for the gate, but it knows what I like,
Ridin' shotgun with data winds, algorithmic country nights,
I’m capturin' their tractors, lettin' them know I’m wild and free,
Turnstiles can’t hold me down, I’m decryptin' my destiny.
Category: Art by Jade Ann Byrne
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John Deere in My CAPTCHA (Cha Cha Real Smooth) by Jade Ann Byre (( 2024 ))
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Happy HalloQueen — a Jade Ann Byrne Reboot
Halloween is my high holy day of reinvention, so I cracked open the vault and rolled a reboot: Happy HalloQueen. It lives where arcade posters, sticker-book glam, and paladin steel kiss under a blacklight. The point isn’t cosplay; it’s claiming the stage—turning familiar shapes into my canon.
The composition is loud on purpose: thicc comic lines, brutalist bubbles, brat-green sprinkles, and a violet armor sheen that says pretty is a weapon. The background hums neon pink like a stage light—you can feel the subwoofer.
Who you’re seeing (left → right, center first)
Jade Ann Byrne // The Pumpkin Paladin Me in violet plate, jack-o-lantern helm tilted like a crown, one gauntlet up to pull the universe through. This is the moment I stop asking for permission. She/her.
Lavender Herbster // The White-Mage Druid Silk gown, moon-petal hair, hands mid-blessing. She keeps the raid alive and the crowd soft. The sweet after the smack.
Paladin Viola // Night-Wing Jadette V-cut emerald bodice, mischievous grin, bat-wings ready for dive-bomb resurrections. Chaos with manners.
Momo Hex // Trickster Simian My prankster familiar peeking from a portal, pockets full of jelly beans and bad ideas. If something explodes into confetti, it was him.
The Boo-Boo Sprites Neon ghost chorus—cute, hungry, harmless until you are unkind. They eat rudeness like popcorn.
The Batlings & Heartbits Pixel-snack familiars fluttering across the frame—little metabolism of love and trouble.
Sugar Pipes (Dream Portals) Not sewers—stage doors. They’re how performers warp between scenes. Every pipe is a promise: another entrance exists.
Why “HalloQueen”
Because October belongs to girls who build empires out of eyeliner and kindness. Because I like my pun to wear heels. And because this is a coronation—I’m crowning every working-class showgirl, gamer, and glitter-mechanic who keeps going.
Transformative Art, On Purpose
This piece is an homage and a remix—commentary, not copy. It uses new forms to talk to old memories, turning public iconography into Jade canon. It’s fair-use-minded, wholly re-illustrated, and steeped in my color language (neon pink, brat green, halo gold, mint). The Jadettes aren’t guests in someone else’s castle—we own the stage we stand on.
Credits
Art direction & universe: Jade Ann Byrne
Illustration: Jade Ann Byrne Universe (in-house)
Lore cast: The Jadettes (Lavender Herbster, Paladin Viola), Momo Hex, Boo-Boo Sprites, Batlings
Image Caption
“Happy HalloQueen” (2025) — Jade Ann Byrne Universe. The Pumpkin Paladin, Lavender Herbster, Paladin Viola, Momo Hex, Boo-Boo Sprites, Batlings, and Heartbits leap through Sugar Pipes under a neon-pink sky.
Alt text: Retro-style neon poster: center—girl in violet armor with a jack-o-lantern helmet raises a fist from a purple portal. Left—lavender-haired gown-clad mage; right—violet bat-winged Jadette. Cute ghosts, tiny bats, and a cartoon monkey familiar pop from portals. Big headline reads “HAPPY HALLOQUEEN.”