My Failsona Is Broken (Because She’s Flawless)
Category: Failsona
Site: Art by Jade Ann Byrne
I saw that “my failsona” meme and for half a second I was like,
“Yeah ok, mood.”
Chronically online? Check.
Messy sleep schedule? Check.
Some form of alphabet soup brain? Obviously.
But then I tried to draw my own version and accidentally made… a competent, unionized celestial being with great eyeliner and too many certifications. So either I did it wrong, or the bit’s over.
Spoiler: I did not correct it.
My “failsona” came out looking like this tiny overpowered chibi Paladin with a halo pinned on sideways, thigh highs, combat boots, and a to-do list that reads like a CVS receipt: contractor, water operator, clergy, camgirl, eSports gremlin, nonprofit goblin, auntie to lost girls, disaster responder, actual mom, and part-time emotional support cryptid to the entire internet.
We labeled her like the meme, but something glitched:
“Chronically iconic”
“Technically feral, legally an LLC”
“ADHD but uses it as a GPU”
“Weaponized empathy”
“Can rebuild your website, your irrigation, & your self-esteem”
“Lore too deep to reboot”
“Walks into a room → becomes main quest”
And yes, I duplicated traits. Multiple times.
On purpose and by accident.
Because that’s how I actually am.
You don’t just have “secretly excited 24/7” once.
You have it in layers: for your art, your kids, your girls, your guild, your partners, your survivors, your brands, your dumb little side quests, your next haircut, your next protest, your next casserole, your next patch notes.
Redundancy is a feature. Ask any engineer. Ask any trauma survivor. Ask any woman who had to become her own raid boss.
The internet sells you this fantasy that you’re supposed to be:
broken enough to be relatable healed enough to be marketable humble enough to be safe hot enough to be clickable
So here’s my official statement:
My failsona fails at failing.
She is tired, glitchy, overclocked, makes questionable choices with bangs, forgets to drink water, trauma info-dumps to the wrong people, trusts the unworthy, forgives too fast, rage-cleans at midnight, and over-explains everything (hi 🖐).
But she’s also:
still here. still kind. still funny. still building. still dangerous to anyone who profits off other people’s pain.
If that’s a fail, then stamp FAILSONA on my forehead like a limited edition holo foil and hang me in the gallery.
This series on Art By JadeAnnByrne.com is exactly that: screenshots of my “errors,” doodles of my supposed flaws, overlaid with the uncomfortable truth that most of these are just misnamed powers.
Stay tuned. I’m turning every red flag they pinned on me into a sticker pack.
With All My Love,
Jade Ann Byrne
Chronically iconic, repeatedly, on purpose.
